Dokdo News Agency

Man found dead, locked in his room

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 08:24:32 +0900

A 28-year-old man was found dead in his room at a small apartment block in Seoul yesterday. Neighbors called the police after they found him lying on the floor with his nose and mouth duct-taped, and his hands tied behind his back. The room was locked from the inside, and there were no signs of a break-in, according to police.

They found no suicide note, and there were no signs of beating or any other indication of murder. The man was at home alone and apparently died while neighbors were doing other things with witnesses. They told police that the man, who they believed was called Kim, had an introverted personality and often played his music loudly late at night, but other than that he didn’t seem to have major problems.

Police say that preliminary investigations suggest the man died of asphyxiation, and it may be a case of fan death as they also found an electric fan in the room with him.

Japanese tourists down

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:07:00 +0900

The number of hated Japanese travelers visiting Korea has dropped for six months in a row, largely due to their pathetic weak currency and not because of anti-Japanese sentiment according to a spokesman for the Ministry of Japanese Affairs and War today.

According to figures from the ministry, Japanese visitors are down more than 26 percent year-on-year, more than can be explained by the declining height of Japanese people.

Japan’s odd currency has been under downward pressure after Tokyo vowed to implement an aggressive war-like bond-buying program in a surprise attack on the financial markets. The successful Korean won gained 22.5 percent against the yen last month in an sign that the country is increasingly recognized as Asia’s financial hub.

Singer comes out of shadows but forgets to wear skirt Singer Son...

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 18:36:30 +0900

Singer comes out of shadows but forgets to wear skirt

Singer Son Dam-bi has returned to the music industry after a two-and-a-half-year hiatus in the shadows. She said that because it had been some time since she had last sung on stage, she was worried that she wouldn’t have the confidence, but it soon returned.

However, music industry watchers said that while her confidence may be fine, her time away appeared to have affected her memory, as she neglected to remember to wear a skirt while doing publicity for her new album.

North Korea commemorates shelling of South Korean island

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 16:41:00 +0900

Two years after the shelling of South Korea’s Yeonpyeong Island was shelled by North Korean military forces, the North Korean regime solemnly marked the occasion yesterday by threatening to launch a bomb attack on South Korean soil.

A spokesman for the government in Pyongyang said the regime had considered sending a card or flowers, but ultimately felt that the threat to do it again was the best way of commemorating the attack, which killed four people and a dog, as well as destroying 70 percent of the island’s forests and fields in fires caused by the bombardment.

Autumn to begin this year in autumn says KMA

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 17:52:00 +0900

The Korea Meteorlogical Administration said Friday that this year autumn will begin in autumn. The agency said it was pleased to be able to make the forecast in order to give some certainty to people who would otherwise be unsure of which season the season would begin in. There have been persistent fears in recent years that if a season failed to arrive Korea could lose its unique status as the only country in the world to have four distinct seasons.

Extensive analysis by the KMA’s supercomputer suggested that the foliage on trees would change color in a number of places and that these colors would be approximately similar to those seen last year.

The KMA also announced that Ultra-Typhoon Sanba – which is currently bearing down on Korea having suspiciously avoided the Japanese mainland – is likely to bring rain and wind with it.

Korea regains territory from Japan

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:57:10 +0900

Korea has regained ownership of building in Washington D.C. which historically had been part of its territory since 1891 until it was taken over by the Japanese as part of their annexation of Korea in 1910.

The building had originally been claimed by the Chosun Dynasty and was a well-known center of Korean culture. After Japan’s defeat by Korea in the Second World War, the unapologetic country failed to relinquish control of the building and it has been subject to a territorial dispute ever since, despite the clear evidence of Korea’s established prior claim.

Japan was believed to be reluctant to hand over the building out of the well-justified fear that it would establish a precedent with Dokdo and Daemado, both of which Japan still claim. But now they have bowed to American pressure, there are hopes that Washington will now tell Tokyo to abandon its other territorial disputes with Seoul.

Actor Lee Byung-hun admits dating

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 18:24:30 +0900

Top actor 42-year-old Lee Byung-hun has admitted dating 30-year-old actress Lee Min-jung. The two celebrities said they are in a “serious relationship”, as opposed to the kind of fake relationships Korean celebrities often create for publicity purposes, but they denied rumors that they are getting married in November, saying nothing is certain.

Lee had previous denied relationship rumors with Lee, and apologized for not being able to tell the truth earlier. But some fans refused to accept the apology. “After all the dramas I have watched, I feel like a family member who has have the right to be told when my relatives are dating.” said 24-year-old Lee.

Lee Byung-hun has been at the center of the boom in Korean pop culture in Japan, but after Japan’s recent declaration of almost-war against Korea, there have been calls from Japanese people to stop watching K-dramas and listening to K-pop, threatening the popularity of many Korean stars. Lee Min-jung rose to stardom with a supporting role in a KBS drama.

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Actor Lee Byung-hun admits dating

Korea really came second in Olympic medal table – professor

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:03:00 +0900

A Korean professor appears to have conclusively proven that contrary to the deceptive appearance of the final London Olympic medal table, which shows South Korea coming just below 4th, it should actually have been awarded second place overall.

“When medal-winning athletes who come from Goguryeo and other territories which are clearly part of Korean territory historically, geographically and under international law are taken into account, Korea actually comes in second place behind the United States” said 58-year-old Professor Kim, an expert in Sports History at Korea International University.

An appeal to the International Olympic Committee based on this new information has been made, but experts are warning people to be cautious given the organization’s history of pro-Japanese sympathies.

American politician urged to seek asylum at Korean embassy

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:43:37 +0900

An American politician, Rep. Todd Akin, who claimed that “legitimate rape” rarely resulted in pregnancy, has been urged to seek political asylum the Korean embassy in Washington after his statement unleashed a storm of protest in the world’s most powerful theocracy.

“Korea is a progressive country where attitudes to rape have been normalized” said a spokesman for KASA – the Korean Association of Sex Attackers. While the group has had some setbacks over the last few years, it still helps defend Korean men from the stigma of criminalization by supporting a system of compensation payments and recognized Korean legal defense of “I was drunk”.

If Rep. Akin can make it to the Korean embassy, there is every chance he would be able to be smuggled out of the United States to Korea in diplomatic baggage, since while the American authorities may make a theoretical case for searching suspicious items leaving the embassy, in practice Korean diplomatic bags are always left alone because they are also used to transport kimchi.

London Olympics prove Koreans don't need pay increases

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 08:17:40 +0900

President Lee Myung-bak has said that the London Olympics taught Koreans they can achieve anything if they work hard, and that the gold medal tally proves they don’t need pay rises or troublesome employment laws at a time the country needs to rekindle its spirit amid global economic difficulties.

Lee said that the results also gave Korean people “the courage to believe that there is nothing we cannot achieve as long as we are united”. The President, who retires in a few months, urged Koreans to “keep on working”.

The Ministry of Public Manipulation and Insecurity said that the goal of uniting Koreans was being complicated by ‘troublemakers’ and ‘populists’, who were disrespecting Korea’s Olympic legacy and the hard efforts of the athletes who went to the Games, even those who returned exempted from military service by virtue of winning a medal.

Bill Gates to develop new nuclear reactor with Korea

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 20:34:06 +0900

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, has pledged to develop a revolutionary nuclear reactor with Korea that will be more efficient and which will not require enriched uranium. The development would not be possible without Korea’s help, and no deals have been signed with Japan prior to the one with Korea.

Some reports say that the new reactors can even use uranium recovered from river or sea water, in the event that uranium should be in Korea’s river or sea water, which of course it wouldn’t.

There is speculation that the reactors will run on the Microsoft Windows operating system, and they will be perfectly safe.

Equality now a reality in Korean companies

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 18:29:38 +0900

Women now make up as many as 1.5% of executives at Korea’s top 100 companies, showing that the the so-called glass ceiling has been shattered in Korea and the only thing now holding women back is their general lack of business acumen.

According to figures by the Financial Supervisory Service and Statistics Korea, there were as many as 12 women out of a total of 800 executives as of late last year. Three were related to the companies’ owners, and three were described as being ‘not professional’. But the remaining 6 had competently risen through the ranks – despite their lack of military service – on their own merits, probably.

But the figures also revealed that one problem Korea still faces is the disloyalty of women. The average female employee spent seven consecutive years at the companies surveyed, four years less than their male counterparts, which was largely ascribed to their averageness.

Blue House admits it told Japanese about Dokdo visit

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 15:04:05 +0900

Damning evidence has emerged over Lee Myung-bak’s trip to Dokdo, which the Blue House has tried to claim Japan was not informed of beforehand.

It has now emerged that the presidential office intends to penalize the Japanese news agency Kyodo, over their report of the president’s visit, which was released on Thursday evening, ahead of its embargoed time on Friday. This gave Tokyo several hours to mount a strike against Dokdo to coincide with the president’s visit, with only typical Japanese incompetence apparently saving its brave Korean defenders from easily beating off the assault.

A presidential spokesman told reporters “This is a violation of regulations.” He added that the presidential office plans to issue a ‘heavy’ penalty after giving Kyodo a chance to make its case and finding it guilty. There is some speculation that Korea will take the Kyodo issue to the International Court of Justice.

Korea denies idea to swap currency with Japan

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 11:47:01 +0900

The government denied Japanese media reports yesterday that Korea had proposed an idea to swap its currency with Japan.

The Yen is regarded as a mainstream currency globally, but with the Japanese people in terminal moral and social decline Japan can no longer live up to the status of its currency. Meanwhile, just across the East Sea, Koreans have been getting even taller than their noisy neighbors as the Korean Wave has swept the world, surely making the Korean people deserving of a major currency.

However, the Won has struggled to gain traction among foreign criminals and even some Koreans, who find the currency’s lack of large denominations – designed to prevent bribery - difficult to use for criminal purposes. In 2009, the government introduced a 50,000 won note but many Koreans still refuse to circulate it because it carries the image of Shin Saim-dang, a woman.

Japan Seeks Alliance with North Korea

Thu, 16 Aug 2012 23:54:56 +0900

Japan could use upcoming talks with North Korea to strengthen its hand against Seoul, essentially creating an alliance with Pyongyang aimed at destroying South Korea.

With the Japanese and Chinese enemies to the east and west, and the Philippines to the south, Seoul has relied on the idea that when Tokyo finally decided to declare war over Korea’s Dokdo, support from North Korea was guaranteed on the principle that no matter how much the North and South hate each other, they hate all non-Koreans even more.

Support from Pyongyang would be important as they have nuclear weapons, but the North recently rejected a South Korean proposal to bomb Tokyo, indicating that the Japanese may have been plotting their deception for some time.

Kim Yu-Na! to get own religion

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 13:30:55 +0900

In an attempt to bolster the flagging fortunes of Korea’s skating sensation Ice-Queen and Hite beer spokesperson Kim Yu-na!, supporters have announced their intention to create a formal religion based around her image.

27 year-old Kim, founder of the new religion of Yunaism, promised it would be “like Scientology, but with Kim Yu-na! instead of Tom Cruise”. The group point to the miracle of their savior walking on a form of water, just as Korean Jesus did when he famously walked to Dokdo to prove his faith.

As traditional Korean religions decline in popularity due to their continued and illogical insistence on promising people a better life after they have died, people are turning to newer and more immediately fulfilling beliefs which broadly embrace Korea’s third major religion, Hedonism.

Another Japanese insult: Rock band sings for sex slaves

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 18:25:44 +0900

A Japanese rock band has provocatively said it will sing for wartime sex slaves in front of a crowd of South Koreans demanding an apology from Tokyo for forcing Korean women into sex slavery during the Second World War.

The band is named Gopchang Jeongal, which means spicy beef tripe casserole, although it is not known if beef is American in origin and therefore potentially tainted with mad cow disease.

The shameless announcement is sure to cause further anger coming just days after Japan renewed its dubious claim to Dokdo based on its distorted view of history developed in its imperial past, but it demonstrates the twisted thinking behind a country which still claims the war was simply lots of its citizens deciding to go on overseas holidays at the same time while wearing the same clothes.

Seoul schools to replace old purifiers with algae fountains

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 15:00:09 +0900

The Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education has announced today that by 2014 it will replace old and costly water purifiers with ‘algae fountains’ taken from the green soup of South Korea’s ‘Four Rivers’ and delivered through the capital’s public tap-water system.

The Office said that the medicinal properties of the algae – which is not poisonous at all despite what some so-called experts claim – will ensure students’ health, cut costs and cut costs.

Purifiers have already been removed from an estimated 746 out of Seoul’s 1,323 elementary and secondary schools, and up to 20 algae fountains per school have been set up, according to a spokesman, who asked not to be named. Kim added that the algae fountains would also help reduce the need for free school lunches, since scientists have found the water appears to have nutritional value.

North Korea tells South, Japan to stop behaving like children

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 11:03:47 +0900

North Korea has criticized South Korean President Lee Myung-bak and Japan for rekindling territorial disputes over Dokdo, and generally “behaving like children”.

“Can’t we all just get along?” asked the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) in Pyongyang, after sitting by on the sidelines as Seoul and Tokyo moved towards war after a tense weekend in which radioactive material was thrown at Korean territory by the Japanese and South Korea said Dokdo was worth South Koreans dying for.

The KCNA went on to accuse both South Korea and Japan of “harshing our buzz”, which appears to show a genuine fear in the North Korean capital that increasing rhetoric between the two countries would distract the world’s attention from its own domestic conflicts which have already seriously declined in the global ratings due to the Olympics.

Movie: The Grand Heist (2012)

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 08:22:20 +0900

Genre: Comedy/Epics, running time 121 minutes, directed by Kim Joo-ho, starring Cha Tae-hyun, Oh Ji-ho, Min Hyo-rin

Synopsis: In a made-up Korea of 250 years ago, which is definitely in no way reflective of life today, people struggle under the tyranny of a premier called Lee while enduring the longest heatwave in history. With unquestioned political and economic supremacy, he possesses one of the most important and valuable commodities of the time – ice.

Then a brilliant young man called Kim Bada, whose father was killed by Lee, decides to assemble a group of eleven outcasts with expertise in a variety of fields and together Bada’s 11 plot to end Lee’s tyranny by stealing his entire store of ice.

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The Grand Heist (2012)